Unlearning fear to re-learn passion

by | Mar 27, 2023 | Blog

Abandon Perfection

So often life & culture tell us that we’re supposed to know all the answers, that the purpose of life is to figure it all out, maintain control, and arrive safely at death. It seems silly when we say it that way, but isn’t it true? 

We’re taught to desire perfection. Perfection makes us feel in control, and control helps us feel safe and secure. But it’s a false safety that kills our passion and limits our future.

During a recent episode of The Soulful Leader Podcast, my co-host Stephanie Allen and I had a powerful conversation with Margaux Khoury about unlearning, about unschooling ourselves from fear to allow us the space to re-engage our passions and reclaim our energy and our life.

Embracing failure first

As humans we’re not supposed to know all the answers. We’re meant to explore. We’re meant to fail, and then try again. In episode 78 of the podcast, Stephanie said something which really spoke to me, “let’s turn our hearts towards a different perspective of failure and say, ‘this is a way of skill building’.” 

So, how do you embrace this new perspective? Shifting our fear of failure to embracing it as a step in pursuing our passion? 

Deprogramming itself is part of our life experience. It’s a process, a journey. What does it require?

Presence. Getting to know yourself by asking questions, by questioning what you’ve learned, your beliefs and how you define yourself. Is that really who you are? Or are you more? 

Why do you believe the things you believe? Have you wondered about that?

Why do you want the things that you want? ‘Why’ questions are so powerful when it comes to unlearning anything, especially fear. As you begin this quest, recognize that you didn’t get here overnight and your journey of self discovery will be just that, a journey, one that will also require patience. 

Here are three questions to help your exploration: 

  • What is it that I think that I know that’s keeping me stuck? 
  • What do I want to unlearn? 
  • What could I unlearn to make more space for who I want to become?


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