Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do this instead

by | Feb 6, 2023 | Blog, Mindfulness and Awareness

So often in life when something doesn’t go the way we imagined, or we experience a “failure” we default to either a harsh place of force and “get over it” attitude or a “poor me, nothing ever works out for me, I guess it’s not meant to be, I’ll just give up” attitude.

Perhaps your presentation at work flopped, instantly, your itty-bitty-shitty committee (the one that lives between your own two ears) comes out with every pent up ounce of self-sabotage.

Perhaps the client you were hoping to sign decided to move forward with your competition, and instantly your brain switches to “get over it and put on your big girl panties” mode to hustle toward the next prospective client.

Today, I want to encourage you that there is a place in between – it’s compassion. The question is how do we step into that in-between of compassion? 

  1.  The first thing we must to do is identify your “poor sad tomato” story – put a name to it. It could be in regards to your health, your finances, your business. Uncover that story, because without confronting it, we can’t change it. If you can catch it and bring awareness to it, you can change it.
  1. Recognize that if you want what you say you want, you’ll need to become someone different than who you are right now. This is a journey of evolution. We cannot stay the same as we are and attract what we say we want.
  1. This poor sad tomato story typically stems from a place of lack/scarcity. So, next we must go inward. As my dear friend Stephanie Allen says, “if you don’t go within, you’ll go without.” Another way of saying this is “internal cause, external effect” If we don’t take time to look inward, listen and be still, then we will go without whatever we desire in our external reality. 

One thing that is important to remember during this process is that we are not our thoughts. We are not our emotions. So imagine instead of living in those feelings and telling that poor sad tomato story to yourself, ask “what is my inner relationship with myself like?”

Overcoming those feelings of “I’m not good enough” and other ways of feeling sorry for ourselves really is all about presencing our future, because our potentiality to step up and show up and reach our highest potential actually comes from our future. As we continue to practice this we’re building new wiring in the brain to disconnect from the old view, and reconnect to the one that’s actually pulling you into the future.

Need help putting this into practice? Comment below for support in rewriting you “poor me” story into one of compassion.

In case this is the first time we’re meeting, I’m Maren, an executive life coach, speaker, dancer, and serial entrepreneur empowering you to step into your purpose and live your most fulfilled life.

When you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help regardless of where you are on your journey to self discovery:

Book me to speak at your next event and inspire your team of high achievers to step into their purpose, master their mindset, amplify their impact, and find fulfillment.

Join the Dance with Life Program: Uncover your unique gifts and experience a more fulfilling way of success with my Dance with Life program. I’ve helped dozens of high achievers transform their lives. Learn how you can join this transformative journey.

Download my free guide – “Spinning Life in Your Favor”: Access three simple steps you can take TODAY to start dancing with life instead of slogging through it.

Listen to The Soulful Leader Podcast: Tune in to the Soulful Leader Podcast every Tuesday for inspiration, tools, and actionable tips for personal and professional growth.


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